Millenial Math®

Let’s start out with a word problem:

Xander has $20. Xander wants to buy a box of white wine at Trader Joes. The Wine is $10. On the way to Trader Joes, Xander finds a Trader Joes gift card in his tweed blazer with $5 on it. How much money does Xander have to spend?
A. $20

B. $25

C. $15

D. $35

B? Nope! Much like a text message from your ex-girlfriend at 3am, the only answer is D. The answer is always D.

“But how?! I’m not Whinnie Cooper, but I’m sure 20+5 don’t equal 35.” See your problem is that you are doing math. Math is hard. Math is dumb. You need Millennial Math®. This is the tried and true method of money management that everyone born after 1980 uses. Let’s start over:

So Xander has $20 to spend (pay day is in 3 days), he adds $5 via the remains of a gift card he won at a trivia night ($1 PBR, $2 Bourbon until the game starts), so that’s $25. Still with me? Good. Ok, so the box of TJ’s white is $10, so he should have $15, BUT he had a $5 gift card. So he saved $5 on the $10 purchase, leaving him with $5 profit. Now, he had originally intended to spend $10, but only spent $5, so he can spend that extra $5 guilt free, leaving him with $35 to spend!

But where does that 5 on the end come from?

That’s the profit! Remember, money saved is money earned, LITERALLY. So you saved $5 which means you gained $5; add them together and you get $10! 

You can spend that. You WILL spend that - IMMEDIATELY. Get to the cookie butter - quick, before you brain gets a handle on the situation! Here, distract it with Instagram. Soothing filters.

As you see anything is possible with Millennial Math®, anything except a savings account.

Millennial Math® - Always Count on It™